Why Doesn’t My Rescue Dog Feel Safe With Me?
“Can you tell her that I’m a good person and to not run from me?”
A loving pet parent requested this during a session for her “foster fail” dog, Stella. She had fallen in love with Stella, a beautiful black pug, and desired to be close to her. She shared that Stella was attached to her husband but ran from everyone else.
I could sense how much she cared for Stella and wanted to build a relationship with her. Stella’s mom has a big heart and is ready to express her love. There was a feeling of excitement in having Stella become part of their family.
I felt a lot of empathy for Emma, knowing how much she wanted Stella to feel safe with her. She was also holding a lot of grief for a pug she had recently lost. With all of these emotions, her concern for Stella felt even more intense. She wanted to hear Stella’s perspective and find out how she could make things better between them. For those of you who have rescued or fostered animals, I’m sure you can relate. Your desire to have closeness and trust with your animal reflects how much you care.
Meeting Stella
When I first connected with Stella, she shared that she is in the process of figuring everything out. As I tuned into the energy of her personality, I could sense that she was rebuilding her identity. This made sense to me as Emma had shared that Stella had been rescued from a puppy mill. Stella went on to say, “I don’t know what it’s like not to be used.” I could feel the chaos from her past. She showed me an image of being around many puppies and dogs, feeling like one of the crowd.
I’m grateful to Stella for sharing this difficult information, because it shows that she is learning a completely new way to relate to humans. She was treated like a product before and not respected as a sentient being.
I asked her what it was like to live in her new home. She shared that she feels warmth, love, and care. Stella expressed gratitude and said she likes the routines. However, she also explained that it feels like culture shock: “This is all very new and unfamiliar.”
Knowing her perspective, we can see why she might run sometimes. She is simply learning how to live in a whole new way. For many animals, especially those who have experienced trauma or loss, this is a completely normal part of the adjustment process. It doesn’t mean you are failing them — it means they are still learning what safety feels like.
Why she runs
With more of an understanding of Stella, I wanted to explore the dynamics with her new pet mom. I asked if she could share insight into why she sometimes runs away from her mom. Stella explained that her mom’s energy can sometimes feel tense or forceful. Those emotions remind her of her life before she was rescued. She shared that anything that feels abrasive makes her nervous.
I told her that her mom is only acting out of love. Sometimes, as humans, our care can come through with a lot of intensity, especially when there is an underlying desire to “fix” things. I wanted Stella to know that while her mom’s energy may feel strong, it comes with good intentions.
I then asked how it feels for her to be close to her dad. Stella said, “He lets me come to him and doesn’t have any expectations of me. I can just be and rest.”
Guidance for building trust and safety
When sharing all of this with Stella’s mom, I also offered guidance to support them in building a healthy relationship together:
Practice grounding your energy before trying to connect with Stella, so she feel more at ease when connecting with you.
Give yourself time to process the grief you feel for the pup you lost — by feeling your emotions, you allow them to move through you.
Let Stella show you the way; she will teach you how to be close to her.
I reassured her that Stella will get more comfortable with her, it’s going to be a learning and healing experience for them both.
Thank you, thank you, Stella, for your great wisdom for us humans.
Stella reminded me that sometimes when we care so much, we can move too fast and skip over important steps. It’s all because we want to get to the good part. We want our animals to feel safe with us. We want to experience joy and harmony together. Yet for pups, especially those who have been rescued, they may need a little more time to adjust.
Stella reminds us that safety and trust are built over time, through mutual respect and listening. This comes from paying attention to our animals’ reactions and how they respond to us at each moment. While we may think it’s best to go to them, usually it is better to let our animals come to us on their own terms. It’s a lesson in trusting that the relationship will strengthen over time. And through this learning, we grow too. Animals mirror back the lessons we need and guide us toward healing.
~Angela 🩷
Animal Communicator & Cat Mama
Support for You and Your Animal
If you’re feeling called to better understand your animal’s perspective, I have a few openings for March.
I have two kinds of readings available:
Intuitive Photo Sessions — Send a photo and your questions. I’ll hold space and connect with your pet and deliver personalized insights without needing to schedule a meeting.
Live Virtual Sessions — You can be present during the session, as I connect with your pet. During this time, you can ask questions as we talk with your animal, all from the comfort of your home.
If this speaks to you (or someone you know), you can learn more on my website. Sharing is always appreciated. 💗
